


Forever And a Day

by Njorun



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pining, References to Depression, Ryou's also tipsy for a bit there, Slice of Life, Vomiting, cause he drunk, nothing bad happens but I guess it's worth mentioning, very vague mentions of suicidal thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2019-06-05
Packaged: 2020-03-20 16:27:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18996289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Njorun/pseuds/Njorun
Summary: When attending a random college party, the last thing Ryou was expecting was to stumble on his crush. After a disastrous meeting, Ryou's afraid that Malik won't want to see him again, but what happens when there's more to it than meets the eye?





	1. Ludus

**Author's Note:**

> Oof... I was really undecided about posting this. I'm not used to writing fiction, and English is my second language- not to mention I'm relatively new in the fandom and afraid I might not make the characters justice. Either way, I've more of this written, so more may come soon. I hope you guys like it. Any feedback is greatly appreciated ^^

Ryou’s fingers clutched at his red plastic cup as he tried his best to make himself as inconspicuous as possible. The music probably wasn’t as loud as it seemed to him, nor the laughter and occasional jeers. After having tried the hallway and the living area, he’d decided to stand in a corner of the garden. At least the air was fresh outside and it was darker under the cherry blossom tree. There he could pretend like he didn’t exist for a while, as he waited until the party died down- or until Yugi decided he wanted to leave.   
  
He startled a little at the yell and splash of a girl being thrown into the pond. He glanced at the scene, just the light movement of his head making everything feel like it was spinning, so he closed his eyes. Feeling the sweat running down his temple, he opened them again to look at the contents of his cup. The ice in the drink had already melted. His rum and coke probably tasted watery by then, but it wasn’t like he was going to be drinking any more of it, with how dizzy he felt. Why had he thought it’d be a good idea to come to the party, again?    
  
Maybe it’d been something ridiculous like thinking it’d be good to socialize for once, or that his friends had invited him and he had declined too many times before. The very same friends that had been quick to forget he was even there. Ryou sighed. Not that he could really blame them, he wasn’t a social butterfly by any stretch nor was he very memorable. And he had to admit, Yugi also had been quite adamant that he come.   
  
He’d tried to talk to other people, but his anxiety was getting in the way, so he thought that maybe if he had some alcohol in his system he could find the courage to strike a conversation with total strangers. And that was how he’d found himself drunk and still alone, standing in a dark corner of someone else’s garden.    
  
Maybe he could go look for Yugi? Tell him that he was going home, that’d he’d be fine on his own and thank him for offering to stay the night at his house- he could just grab a taxi back to his apartment. That thought presented itself to him in a surprisingly clear light. Yes, that was what he was going to do.    
  
Pushing himself off the tree trunk, he stumbled towards the house slowly, feeling like the alcohol sloshed in his veins with every wobbly step he took; but he was determined. He’d find Yugi, and then he could go home.    
  
As he reached the sliding doors that led to the living area, he ran into someone about to exit the house, making him lose his balance. He instinctively clutched at the cup still in his hands like somehow the action could save him, but it was a hand that quickly reached out for his arm what stopped his fall, pulling him back. He stumbled forward and ended up dropping his drink, for all he’d been cradling it the whole night. The contents splashed on the dark wooden floor, making the old surface shine.   
  
“Ah... s-sorry...” Ryou apologized, his own voice sounding odd to his ears, and looked up once he found his balance. When his eyes met worried lavender ones, it felt like a bucket of freezing water had been suddenly dunked on him, seeping down to his bones.   
  
Skin several shades darker then his own, ashen blonde hair falling over lavender eyes that were perfectly framed with black eyeliner. “Are you okay?” The other male asked, still holding Ryou’s arm.    
  
Ryou went from feeling like his soul had left his body to feeling a scorching heat spreading under his skin, starting from his face. He wasn’t aware Malik Ishtar would be at the party! Why had no one informed him of such a crucial fact? “I’m- uh, I mean- I’m okay, yeah.” He stumbled on his words, trying to look anywhere but at the other man.    
  
Malik finally let go of him. “Sorry, I’m probably in the way. Were you headed inside?” He asked, but in spite of his words, he didn’t seem inclined to step aside.   
  
“N-no- yes- yes I was going inside.” Ryou slurred, feeling more nervous by the second and mentally facepalming. Malik stared at him, and the anxiousness churning in his stomach- not to be confused with the rum and coke- drove him to keep talking. “I’m... going to look for my friend.”    
  
“Oh,” Malik exclaimed, “who is it? Maybe I can help you look for them?”   
  
Malik’s shoes were black and shiny, no spot of dirt on them. Ryou wrung his shirt in his hands, bangs still covering his face. “I don’t want to be a bother,” he muttered. Oh god, he would’ve never imagined his official first conversation with Malik to be at a random party, and when he was still tipsy to boot. Maybe coming to the party had been more of a mistake that he’d initially thought.   
  
Ryou didn’t see Malik shake his head, but he heard the jingle of his earrings as he did. “Come on, lets go look for your friend.”    
  
Malik’s hand was warm on his back as he led him inside, and Ryou didn’t fight him. He probably couldn’t have even if he’d wanted to. Ryou looked around but he couldn’t see Yugi in the living area, and briefly wondered where he could’ve gone to. For a moment, his addled brain worried that maybe Yugi had already left, but reasoned that he wouldn’t do that. Yugi wouldn’t leave him there, so he had to be  _ somewhere _ .   
  
“So who’s this friend that dared leave you alone?” Malik asked casually as they got to the hallway, making Ryou wince internally at the implication.   
  
“Oh, uhm…” Ryou muttered, not knowing what to say to that, his thoughts dragging behind his words. Maybe if he’d been sober he would have defended his friend, but as things were, he wasn’t being very eloquent. He settled for “Yugi Mutou. Y-you know… funny hair?” He gesticulated, like he was trying to form the wild spikes of hair with his fingers.    
  
“Hah!” Malik exclaimed with a smug grin that stole all of Ryou’s breath and scattered attention. “Who doesn’t know him? He always wins all the games at parties. Honestly it’s absolutely  _ no _ fun.”   
  
There was a brief moment of silence, after which Ryou giggled liberally. He found the statement incredibly funny in his inebriated state. “How ironic is that playing with the “king of games” is no fun.” He said, leaning against the wall, giggling some more.   
  
Malik snorted. “At this point the only people interested in playing against him are sore losers who can’t accept defeat.”    
  
Ryou gasped. “Like Kaiba.” He said in awe, like Malik had bestowed on him the knowledge of the century. Then he went into another fit of giggles.    
  
Malik chuckled a little. “So why are you alone, anyway?” He asked after Ryou’s laughter had died down, which only succeeded in making it stop altogether.    
  
Ryou could tell it was a good intentioned question, but he couldn’t help the sinking feeling in his gut. No... could that churning in his stomach possibly be something other than dread? He went suddenly pale, eyes fixed on a spot of the opposite wall as he froze in place.    
  
“Uhm… Ryou, are you ok?” Malik questioned, his brow furrowed with concern as he moved closer to inspect him.    
  
“I think I’m going to be sick,” Ryou managed to say, hushed and hurried, but what he didn’t manage was to even take a step towards the toilet when he was throwing up all over Malik’s shoes. The other let out a surprised yelp, stepping back even though it was already too late.    
  
There was a moment of stillness in which Ryou heaved and took several quick breaths. His throat and nose burned, his eyes were blurry with tears as he worried he might throw up again. The moment stretched, and then the silence was broken by a quiet sob.    
  
Malik stepped closer again to pat his back while Ryou remained hunched forward, making his shoes enter Ryou’s line of sight. They were all ruined now. He’d ruined Malik’s expensive shoes.    
  
A louder sob wracked his body, and then another, tears freely running down his face, falling on the already messy floor.    
  
“It’s ok,” Malik said, rubbing his back. “Let’s go get cleaned up, all right? Are you feeling better?”    
  
“I’m sorry!” Ryou wailed, fat tears clinging to his cheeks and lashes. He felt awful- felt even worse that Malik was being nice to him. Why wasn’t he yelling at him? He shouldn’t have drank so much. He was such a fool and didn’t deserve the other’s kindness.   
  
“Don’t worry, it doesn’t matter.” Malik shook his head, not saying anything else as he led Ryou to the bathroom.    
  
Ryou was bawling like a baby, half aware of it, mostly too mortified about the whole situation. Malik offered him a pitiful glance and some toilet paper to blow his nose with, then went to clean his shoes with the rest.   
  
Ryou cleaned his face and mouth, washing the awful taste away with water. After washing his face he’d managed to calm down some, a feeling of exhaustion overtaking him instead. He wasn’t sure what to do after that, so it was quite easy to allow Malik to take him outside and call a cab for him. Ryou was somewhat relieved, but still couldn’t bring himself to look Malik in the eye.   
  
“Are you sure you’ll be alright?” Malik questioned, that concerned frown that had appeared on his face a couple minutes ago still nestled there.    
  
Ryou nodded. “Yeah, don’t worry,” he said weakly. It had been probably the third time Malik had asked him that, though the Egyptian still didn’t seem convinced. He hummed thoughtfully.   
  
“Well,” He said at length. “At least let me give you my phone number, so you can message me when you get home and I can stop worrying.”    
  
By the time they finished exchanging numbers the taxi had already arrived. Ryou promised he’d message him, feeling bad that he was eager to get away and be home as soon as possible.    
  
As the city blurred by past him, he realized he felt somewhat more sober, but a dark cloud had settled above him by then. He hated parties.    
  
Feeling drained, he barely bothered with taking off his clothes as he got home, falling face first on his bed and passing out as soon as he comfortably nestled himself there.


	2. Agape

The next morning, Ryou woke up to a horrible headache and several unread messages on his phone. The light of the screen hurt his eyes, so all he saw was that most were from Yugi, some from Anzu and Honda, before setting his phone aside and burying his face back in his pillow.

For a long moment, all he knew was the throbbing on his temple and the awful taste in his mouth, until bits and pieces of the previous evening started to come back to him. The party. The anxiety, being drunk... Malik.

He moaned into his pillow, remembering what had happened. God. He’d made a fool of himself and Malik probably didn’t want anything to do with him now.

After a moment of wondering if he could asphyxiate himself with his pillow, he finally rolled over and took a deep breath. He felt awful. At least he could spend the day in his apartment and avoid having to interact with people.

Or well, maybe not completely. He glanced at his phone, knowing that he’d have to answer to the messages eventually, lest he felt inclined to have his friends knocking down his door in the next couple of hours.

Deciding he’d spent enough time in bed after his stomach protested for food, he got up and all but dragged himself to the kitchen, where he got a glass of water and some painkillers. Getting some of the leftover rice from the previous day, he made a simple eggs and rice breakfast, and ate slowly at the table. It was only after he’d eaten and his headache had subsided some that he started considering again that he should answer to his messages.

Somewhat reluctantly, he grabbed his phone, finally unlocking it to check the messaging app. He skimmed through the first few and concluded all the messages were some form of another of ‘Bakura where are you? Are you ok?’. He couldn’t help but let out a weary sigh.

Clicking on Yugi’s name, he started to read the messages, most of which were sent last night.

_Ryou, where are you? Are you home?_

_You just disappeared at the party, we’re all wondering where you went. I hope you’re home now._

_Message me when you wake up, ok?_

Then some from that morning.

_Oh, btw, Malik was asking for you as well? Please answer as soon as you can, we’re all worried_

Ryou’s train of thought completely froze, mind going blank as soon as he read the word ‘Malik’ on the screen. He reread the message several times, like somehow the words were going to change, or he was just deluding himself.

_Malik asked about me?_

He typed and sent the message before he could even think on it. Then cursed himself. To his mortification, the three dots at the bottom of the screen that meant Yugi was typing a message appeared almost immediately.

_Finally!_  
_That got you to answer didn’t it?_

Ryou has started to type a reply, but Yugi was quicker than him.

_Yes he messaged me earlier today_

Ryou froze again.

_He asked if I knew anything since u were meant to message him but didn’t?_

Malik... had messaged Yugi? He was worried about him? Ryou couldn’t even fathom why Malik cared. Ryou hadn’t even known Malik and Yugi were close enough to have each other’s numbers? And... why hadn’t he messaged Ryou himself?

_Ryou?_

The message shook him out of his reverie.

_Yeah I’m fine. Sorry, I passed out last night as soon as I got home._

If he thought that would’ve been the end of the conversation, Ryou was sorely mistaken.

_So did you finally decide to talk to Malik last night? 👀 omg pls tell me you asked him out_

Ryou huffed, feeling his face heating up.

_It wasn’t like that! God I don’t even want to think about it._

A small pause, and then,

_Did it go that bad? :(_

Ryou wasn’t sure he wanted to talk about it, but he really didn’t have anyone else he could _talk to_ about it.

_I didn’t even know he was going to be there! Why did no one tell me?_

Ryou frowned at the screen, remembering the events of the previous night once again. He decided to wait as he saw Yugi was typing another message.

_Oh my god Ryou! The party was held at his house! I thought you knew??_

The party had been held at his _what?_ Oh god. Oh no. Ryou took a deep breath, trying to calm down.

_Yugi I’m the biggest idiot on planet earth._

_No ur not. It’s ok, come on tell me what happened_

And so, Ryou spent the next twenty minutes retelling the events to Yugi, though omitting a couple details. There were some things he didn’t need to know, like the fact that Malik thought playing with him at anything wasn’t fun.

_I’m sure Malik doesn’t hate you_

Ryou stared at the screen, pouting. It was easy for Yugi to say that, he hadn’t been the one to throw up all over Malik’s shoes and the floor of his house. Ugh.

_Trust me, ok?_

The message popped up on his screen a minute after, like Yugi could tell he was being self deprecating.

_Just promise me you’ll message him?_

Ryou sighed. Yeah, yeah, he got it. He’d said he would, anyway.

_All right._

He replied somewhat reluctantly. As long as it got Yugi off his back. His friend sent him a batch of encouraging emojis and Ryou let out another sigh, lying his head on the table as he stared at his phone. He felt a little bad for being annoyed at his friend, knowing he was just looking out for him.

Out of his friend group, Yugi was the only one who knew he was gay, and also the only one who knew that Ryou’d had a crush on Malik for a good half a year. It stood to reason, as Yugi was also his oldest friend, and they knew each other quite well. He was almost like the sibling Ryou’d been meant to grow up with all along.

He groaned, sitting up again and rubbing his face. He didn’t need to go down that train of thought, and yet, he couldn’t help but think of his mother and sister. Of the day he saw them for the last time, the day that his family was torn apart. Of all those times he’d wanted nothing more than to join them.

It was until he saw his tears falling on the table that Ryou noticed he’d started crying. He sniffled, trying to reign himself in and somehow making it worse. He’d been doing fine. Why did he feel so bad? He’d tried, but had he been deluding himself all this time?

Deep down, he could figure out a couple of reasons, but he was too afraid to face them. He felt foolish, at that moment it felt like the walls of his apartment would cave in on him, and the feeling was a sharp reminder of what had happened 6 months ago. Of the last time he’d felt bad enough to want to hurt himself.

-x-x-

Ryou had been crying all day. At that moment, he was just lying on his bed, not moving as he willed the sun away. He didn’t feel like doing anything but simply going back to sleep, though he knew there were still a couple of hours left before it would set. The silence was interrupted as his stomach grumbled. He sighed, shifting his position on his bed.

He was pretty sure there was nothing in his fridge, nor in his pantry that he could eat. It had been probably more than a week since the last time he’d gone shopping. He considered ordering take out for a moment, but the small part of him that still cared knew he couldn’t afford it. It was nearing the end of the month and he’d spent most of his allowance impulse buying games.

Gathering all the energy he had left, and not with little effort, Ryou detachedly left his bed and put on some jeans, throwing a sweater over his pajama shirt with the intention to go out.

More out of habit than anything else, he grabbed his wallet and keys from the table, and a coat from the rack by the door before heading out.

Ryou allowed his feet to take him where he needed to go, the path to the store memorized long ago. It had snowed in the night before, but a lot of the snow had already melted by then. The sidewalk was still wet, and some of the snow remained stubbornly, sitting in the patches of shadow where the sunrays didn’t touch. The streets were quite empty at that time of day, moreso when people preferred the comfort of the warmth that was offered indoors.

Ryou barely noticed any of it.

His gaze was drawn to the river we was currently crossing over, and he walked towards the railing of the bridge.

It would be so easy to just throw himself in. He had thought about it many times before, but he had never even attempted it. How would it feel, to be trapped in darkness and freezing cold, unable to breathe? His hands clutched at the railing as he watched the current below, the cold biting at his cheeks. It would be so easy.

Taking a deep, shaky breath, he suddenly pushed himself away, like the railing had burnt him. He shook his head violently to get rid of his thoughts and sprinted.

He ran, wanting to distance himself from the water, not paying any attention to where he was going and completely ignoring the protest of the person he accidentally ran into. He didn’t stop until a minute later, hyperventilating and shaking, and it was then that he noticed he’d ended up in a bakery- and not just any bakery, but his favorite one.

Still in a state of semi-shock, Ryou stood at the entrance, feeling the warmth of the store sleeping through his clothes, taking in the sweet aroma but still not knowing what to do. He realized he was crying.

“Welcome.” A warm voice snapped him out of it. He started, turning towards the source. Ryou was greeted by a pair of beautiful lavender eyes. “Can I help you?” The cashier asked, looking both worried and unsure while trying to remain professional.

Ryou took a couple of deep breaths, swallowing once, and still didn’t know what to do. He didn’t recognize the cashier. He’d noticed the bakery had been looking before, so he was likely new. His skin was tan and his hair was blonde, and Ryou wondered if it was bleached for a moment, before noticing his eyebrows were light too.

“Is there anything that you’d like to get?” The cashier asked after the silence stretched, and Ryou felt bad that he had been staring. He was still shaking, but at least the tears had stopped.

“I...” Ryou paused, not knowing what to say for a moment. “I don’t have money on me.” He lied. It was easier than having to explain he couldn’t allow himself any more luxuries after spending his money carelessly.

The tan teen shook his head, smiling a little. “Get anything you want. It’s on the house.”

Ryou blinked, eyes welling up with tears again at the words, unable to believe it. “Really?”

“Really.” The other replied, his smile stretching a bit more.

“Uhm... well...” Ryou said, looking everywhere but at the other teen, feeling flustered. He didn’t feel like arguing with the cashier, having no energy for it, and still he worried about being rude if he just walked out. “I... I’d like a cream puff, then...” he said, voice low and meek.

The other teen turned to grab a bag and to go to the counter where they had the pastry. “Do you like cream puffs?” He asked as he worked.

Ryou avoided looking at him all the while. He nodded. “They’re my favorite.” He was surprised when he noticed the cashier was right in front of him.

“Here,” He said, offering the brown paper bag in his hands with a smile.

Ryou took it slowly, venturing a little smile of his own. The other teen was so beautiful, he looked like an angel “Thanks.” He said, still feeling flustered.

“Don’t mention it,” the cashier said, looking satisfied.

Ryou stared down at the bag in his hands for a moment before saying awkwardly. “Well I... I’ll get out of your hair.” And turning towards the door. He paused, looking over his shoulder before exiting. “Thank you...” He said again.

”Come back soon.” The cashier said, back at the register, a grin on his face.

Ryou turned away, fearing he would blush. He steeled himself and stepped out, back into the cold and let out a sigh.

He kept thinking about the cashier as he did some quick grocery shopping. He didn’t have to go out of his way to be nice to Ryou, but he had. And he’d given him his favorite pastry. He had to admit he felt a little lighter, and was even looking forward to going back home and enjoy the cream puff.

Shopping didn’t take him long, making it back to his apartment before sunset. He closed the door behind him, stripping off his coat and sweater and heading to the kitchen to prepare some tea. After setting the water on the stove, he turned towards the paper box sitting on his counter.

Delicately, Ryou opened the bag, peering in to see its contents and gasped. There was a cream puff in the bag, but also a second pastry. The smell of coffee and chocolate was strong. Alongside it, there was a small note.

Ryou plucked it between his fingers and unfolded it, reading the neat handwriting.

_Tiramisu is my favorite ;)_  
_I hope the sweets can cheer you up some_

A sob suddenly fell from Ryou’s lips, unwarned for, and hot tears followed it. He didn’t know why the small gesture touched him so much... it was nice to know someone cared, even a little bit.

He cried some more until the whistle of the pot startled him. He cleaned his face with a tissue and prepared his tea. A small smile had settled on his face as he poured it. He wanted to see the cashier again. Maybe next time he could ask him for his name.


End file.
